Worship is a dance...

"Worship is beautiful, worship is a dance." -Shawn Harris (who will always be the intern in my heart)

Dancing speeks to me.
Dancing I understand.
Beauty is so hard to wrap my mind around, its such a huge scheem of things,
but dancing, thats raw, its real.
It feels, it hurts, its a struggle, it moves, it grows.
Dancing, to me is a living breathing thing.
Dancing, to me is amazing.

From now on, I will describe my relationship with God as a Dance.

In hope floats Justin says, "Dancing is just a conversation between two people, so come dance with me."

And to me, that is what my relationship with God is, it is a conversation, with no beggining and no ending.

But after my mind thought of all of this during stuco tonight, Shawn started talking about his friend dieing when he was in high school.

I know what that is like.
I lost six friends in one summer.

It was a pain I did not know I could feel.
He asked if anyone had heard Psalm 23

If you don't know it, it is usually read at funerals. I heard it atleast six times this summer.
And it is the intro to a song we sing at stuco. And I don't know how I have over looked it but I have.

The part we sing is verse 4.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you (my God) are with me;

I started thinking of Morgan,
he died most recent.
I was closest with him.

He was amazing.
He could make anyone laugh.
In fact, the mood Im in right now,
it is the exact time where I would think to call him,
because he would make me laugh.

For example:

and his pretty blue eyes,

I had a friend, the friend who led me to Christ,
ask me where God was in all of this.
Asked me why he would take someone like Morgan.
Why would he take the good guy?

And that is exactally it.

It was a revolution, his death that is.

Do you know how many kids came to Christ this summer thought all this tragity?
How many kids choose God.
How many kids saw how Morgan lived his life,
and said I want to be with him again someday.

Alot, but on the other end of that,
my friend reminds me how many kids,
such as herself have lost faith in God.

Here is the irony in that statement,
"I have lost faith in God"
She also told me that she didn't belive in him anymore.

To acknowledge his presents, is to admit he is there.
Therefor, I belive that she, and thoes other kids beilive in him,
they just don't trust him.

That makes me wonder how many times have I not trusted in God. How often do I take things into my own hands and try to fix everything, and set out with the I am going to make this world a better place mentality.

The answer to that is simple.
I am not pleased with it but it is simple.

I don't take things to God very often, I somehow feel no one can fix it. Then not allowing God to work.

I have trust issues to begin with, not that that is an excuse.
but I do. And the more I think about Morgan, the more I think about the revolotion his death made, and is continuing to make. I miss him, God knows I miss him.

But God feels my pain. God watched his own son, persicuted, miss treated, and murdered. If that pain is not greater then my pain, then I dont know what pain is.

Something I know about dance is there are diffrent sequinces in a routien.

If my relationship with God is a routien, and I have been practicing for a recital, I belive it is time that I try a diffrent technique because mine is not working.

I am going to trust God more, and I am going to make our dance that much more beautiful.