Im not sure...

on anything right now.

its just been a really bad day.

i dont feel like being around people.
but i have like 30 diffrent things i could go out and do.
and I dont want to do any of them.

and if i dont go out w/ one person they will be pissed bc i "keep blowing them off"
if i dont do anything with the other person it will just cause a fight that im not up for...but if i hang out with them they will be pissed im not happy.
and if i do my third option...i feel like ill just bring everyone else down.



im going to shower.



this is how i feel.

nothing more.
nothing less.


Beautiful Disaster (its on repeat)

She loves her mama's lemonade, Hates the sound that goodbyes make.She prays one day she'll find someone to need her.She swears that there's no difference, Between the lies and compliments. It's all the same if everybody leaves her. And every magazine tells her she's not good enough, The pictures that she sees make her cry.And she would change everything, everything just ask her.Caught in the in between, a beautiful disaster, And she just needs someone to take her home.She's giving boys what they want, tries to act so nonchalant, Afraid they'll see that she's lost her direction. She never stays the same for long,Assuming that she'll get it wrong.Perfect only in her imperfection. She's not a drama queen, She doesn't want to feel this way, only seventeen but tiredShe would change everything for happy ever after.Caught in the in between, a beautiful disaster,But she just needs someone to take her home.Cuz she's just the way she is, but no ones told her that's ok.And she would change everything, everything just ask her. Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster, And she would change everything for happy ever after. Caught in the in between of beautiful disaster, But she just needs someone to take her homeAnd she just needs someone to take her home

O,mg

No, that is not a typo. Oh, my God. He creacted this:

John 1:1-3

1In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

2He was with God in the beginning.
3Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.

That means God created everything, even these things:

Last night Jesus became real to me.

I know if I were to be crusified and know what was to come of meI would be afraid. I never realized Jesus was. He went with his deciples to a arden and left them all at the fron except Peter, John and James. The four of them went to pray.

Jesus was asking God if this mission could be done without him. At least the part about him on the cross. On the third time Jesus answers himself.

He says, "Thy will be done.

Jesus didn't die on his cross.

Jesus died on my cross.

He died on your cross.

Every ounce of pain inflicted on that perfect man was for me.

And it was for you.

And it was for all of thoes who belive in him and what he did.

And all of thoes who dont.

He did not desierve this:

Stuco wasamazing last night. We should do media nights more often.

read these lyrics as this video plays.

carry my cross Third day:

As long as I rememberI've been walking through the wilderness Praying to the Father And waiting for my time I've come here with a mission And soon I'll give my life for this world I'm praying in the garden And I'm looking for a miracle I find the journey hard but It's the reason I was born Can this cup be passed on Lord, I pray your will be done In this world So I'll carry my cross And I'll carry the shame To the end of the road Through the struggle and pain And I'll do it for love No, it won't be in vain Yes, I'll carry my cross And I'll carry the shame I feel like I'm alone here And I'm treated like a criminal The time has come for me now Even though I've done no wrong Father, please forgive them They know not what they've done In this world Three more days and I'll be coming back again Three more days and I'll be coming back again

Goolog

I have always said I belive God puts you in places at times to work in peoples lives.

I think last night was one of thoes nights, actually it has been more like the whole weekend.

Bradley came to the box after work, Kristin, JJ and I were being silly like we always are when we all started talking.

We started talking about why women are the way they are.

Basically it comes down to Disney and Childhood.

We are taught to be persued by society. Every princess Disney moves the girl is persued, wanted, worth the risk. So every girl wants that.

For example:

what if Snow White Doesnt Wake up?

In Cinderella he chases after her over a friggin shoe!!!

In the Little Mermaid she cant even speek, and he is so in love with her he wont give up.

Every girl wants that but in diffrent ways. For example some girls may love flowers just because, however the girl nest to her has no desires or wants for the. And thats where we know how the guy feels about us, by how well he knows us. Whoever is with me should know me. He should know that I am a sweats on the couach with movies kinda girl. I like Jimmy Johns, and Cicis over fancy restraunts. I don't mind going out but I would rather just chill.

I want to be worth the risk, bur more importantlly I want to be known.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.